http://nefariousdocumentary.com/

Tonight, I had the great pleasure of watching this documentary at the Radiance International House of Prayer. Before going to the documentary, I already knew what to expect. I would probably be deeply moved, feel slightly guilty and convicted, feel pumped up, uneasily stare at that offering envelope, pray like my heart has been completely dedicated to this cause for a long time, yada yada yada and then I would move on.
I realized how sad it is that faith has become so predictable. Like clockwork, we move along with our daily lives until a big conference or documentary comes around and gets our juices flowing. We promise that we'll dedicate our entire lives and surrender our will to the Lord. And then the next day happens and life goes on. Outside of our juices flowing, we have "okay" small groups, mediocre prayer times mixed with the occasional intense prayer session when we really "need" Him, we go to church on Sunday excited to discuss what we'll eat afterwards and what fun we'll have on our day of rest.
Tonight, I was moved. My soul was rocked in a real way. Not in the usual "I'm going to run out on the street and shout Jesus' name (if I had the balls to do this ever..It would be pretty awesome)" but God really began to speak in a deeper way. And for once, I didn't feel so guilty, but proud of where I am and who I am. Thankful that I have so much compared to so many others. Empowered to have the privilege of being a voice to the voiceless. And the lesson God has been teaching me non stop for the past year "It's not about me" rang even louder in my heart and my mind.
We are all slaves to something. We all bow down to an idol of sorts. Jobs, possessions, our gf/bf, our family, money, success, our looks...We all find ourselves in this never ending vicious cycle of being a slave to something. Our chains are invisible and we neglect to acknowledge how tight they've become over the years. We all walk around as slaves until Jesus comes and removes those chains, until He comes and takes the scales from our eyes and says "Wake up! There's so much more to life than what you've made it. Let me show you what I can do."
My idols? I have too many to name. I may not succumb to them every day, but they are always there, waiting for the moment I create distance between myself and God to come and snatch whatever good thing I have.
Awareness is so important in our faith. Awareness of our world and its brokenness. Awareness of ourselves and how weak and lowly we are. Awareness of our sin. Awareness of becoming complacent and comfortable. Awareness of our idols. Awareness of the existence of a Heaven and Hell, people going to both every day, most to the latter. But mostly, awareness of how much we need God in our lives. I believe it is our lack of awareness or dulling of our awareness that draws us the furthest away. When we allow things to blind us and to distract us, we don't see God. We become unaware of how much we need Him. We get so comfortable that we are unaware of how depraved we are.
Tonight, I was made more aware of sex trafficking. I sat there watching the documentary and my heart screamed "What do I do? How do I make a difference?" I watched innocent women and children on the screen and the idea of them being sold into sex slavery killed me. I listened to women talk about why they were in the industry and why they could never get out.
When are we going to do something about injustice? When am I going to do something about it? When is the big talk going to go and the big action take its place?

Oh Lord. I pray and hope that You move me in the direction of being someone of big action. I cannot possibly live this life and not do anything about the darkness in this world. I want to glorify You on the day we meet face to face. I want to tell You that I really tried to love You my best while I lived. Amen.